Well ladies and gentlemen, I've been digging deep into my soul to find some peace with some things I can't seem to understand. It may sound like I'm mad, however I feel marvelous just cleaning some skeletons from my closet. I want this process (NlightN) and this blog to be the realest thing I've ever produced with my own two hands. With that said~
~Prior to the military, when I was simply working 9-5's and was fine with being laid back, unmotivated and under the influence I had soo many friends that would take me aside in the middle of a get together to talk. Spending hours out of our night to slur their way through a drunken confessional. Usually involving phrases like "Nah, no BS If someone was to mess with you, I'd be there in a heartbeat." "You're like a brother to me no question I'd die for you bro." or "Bro we need you, Society needs you, you got something special and I'm down to do whatever it takes for you to succeed just let me know."
SOUNDS GOOD RIGHT?
I really felt like I was slowing building an army of my own, a group of individuals whom separate would only be complacent with life, like a multitude of other people on this earth without a vision. However when they came together under the ideas that *they proclaimed* to shared with me, would be a force strong enough to etch our names into the history books for centuries. I gave my heart and soul away to countless amounts of people to ensure they understood what I was actually willing to give for them. I lost relationships, lost jobs, lost family, Stuff that wakes me up in the middle of the night to this day. Why? Because I have a vision, one I've been willing to die for. I believe when someone has that kind of spirit and determination to achieve Nothing can stop them. I knew this about myself and tried to put everyone onto that fact. I wanted everyone to eat, I just needed them to find something to bring to the table as well. Years went by.....Years of nurturing relations only to realize that most of these friends felt they could return the favor with lip service. Don't worry I've learned. Did it make me more cynical? Probably.
-Big Sean "Nothing is stopping you"
"Tell me what you know about dreams?,
What you know about having faith, in something you can't see?,
Tell me how much do you believe? What you know about feeling something, that you can't even touch What you know bout smelling something, that you can't even breathe"
Money? Fame? Glory? Ego? What is the end goal? Why such strong feelings? Where is this coming from? The answer is one and the same Family.
That's it. Family, I treated those I cared about like family, most of the time better than the family that I actually have. It takes a lot when you only visit home once a year to stay with people other than my family for most of it. I did it because i was sure that the payoff would be sevenfold when we all were able to make the moves we sat around talking about for years. I find the funny thing about determination and motivation is that not everyone turns their words into action. Which is fine! I would never be upset over something that petty. Then what's bothering me? This NlightN Project is not a simple fly by project for me. This took me more than a few years to accomplish and this website is only a stepping stone for what I plan on accomplishing. The thing that hurts me the most, is that the people I sacrificed family time for will/have overlooked anything about my progress in this project as if they have no idea what i'm doing. Not even a facebook like or a high five emoji! Instead I get "I doubt that wont work" or no response at all. Like I said in the beginning I'm not pissed off or bitter. I know even this stepping stone is in its supreme infancy. Therein lies the issue though, if you can't be bothered with something as simple as this. How can I depend on you for when it's GO time. This lyrical exercise was for me to express the fact that my eyes are open and I've undoubtedly become more NlightN'D.
Post Fight Interview-
So with all that said, I'd like to dedicate this blog to all the future success of our NlightN Team and the Believers of our community. As we lift each other up and motivate each other for greatness, never forget where you came from and those that helped you get there......
For all those who chose to ignore such a awe inspiring movement ...